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I Don't understand Women

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  • I Don't understand Women

    Lovely day today and couldn't go fishing so decided to strip the lazzys out of me top kits and give em a rinse as well as flushing me tops through.
    Had all lazzys hanging over the bannister drying and me top kits in the airing cupboard, the long haired dictator comes home from work and plays merry hell with me.
    What's the problem.
    On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

  • #2
    Dave,

    I read your problem with interest, and its not uncommon. It's certainly an issue at this time of year, I get many letters like yours once the sun has come out!


    The problem is Dave, when she got home from work all full of the joys of spring, you were faffing about with your fishing gear.

    In this kind of weather, women are generally more sexually active. This is evolutionary development, back in the olden days, hot weather would increase the likelihood of men to drink ' mead' and 'grog' , and this in turn would increase a woman's chances of being mated with. When your missus came home from work today she was met with the wrong kind of tackle.

    Next times there's a sunny day, put in a leopard skin thong, cover yourself in olive oil, and pass out in the back garden after 12 cans of Stella.

    All the best,

    LC
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Half man, half Octoplus, half bean wannabe test pilot.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by luke carpstalker View Post
      Dave,

      I read your problem with interest, and its not uncommon. It's certainly an issue at this time of year, I get many letters like yours once the sun has come out!


      The problem is Dave, when she got home from work all full of the joys of spring, you were faffing about with your fishing gear.

      In this kind of weather, women are generally more sexually active. This is evolutionary development, back in the olden days, hot weather would increase the likelihood of men to drink ' mead' and 'grog' , and this in turn would increase a woman's chances of being mated with. When your missus came home from work today she was met with the wrong kind of tackle.

      Next times there's a sunny day, put in a leopard skin thong, cover yourself in olive oil, and pass out in the back garden after 12 cans of Stella.

      All the best,

      LC
      The sight of me in a Leopard skin thong would cause the wife to pass out and the neighbours to apply for an injuction.
      Will defo go down the beer and olive oil route though.

      Thanks mate your a life saver.
      On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sound advice that
        OFFICIAL CHAUFFER TO FAT LADS WHO CANT HOLD THERE DRINK

        Comment


        • #5
          sounds like my mum lol

          Comment


          • #6
            Sounds like my ex!!

            Comment


            • #7
              my dragon is just the same, all i get is "you think more about fishing than you do abou me" and "why do you have to go fishing today its such a nice day why dont we go and do something as a family". my answer...... we are goin on holiday for 2 weeks next week thats plenty of time to do things as a family

              Comment


              • #8
                Understanding women now out in handy paperback

                Hi Spadge, you might want to get a copy of this to read on the train to work in the mornings. Be good sunshine





                How to understand women in paperback.jpg
                If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.:D:D:p

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by wotnot View Post
                  Hi Spadge, you might want to get a copy of this to read on the train to work in the mornings. Be good sunshine





                  [ATTACH=CONFIG]8442[/ATTACH]
                  And i bet that's the shortened version.
                  On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You chaps need a back bone.

                    Got to dash I need to wash the kitchen floor before she gets home.
                    I have an incidental on my left shoulder, he's always there, he's my friend.
                    He says he gives me good advice. does he ?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      when she goes to the toilet put a chair under the handle. i used to tell my missus we were going out and while she was in the shower i used to get off on the lash on my own by the time i got back i didnt care what she said, then she started showering first

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by hawb81 View Post
                        when she goes to the toilet put a chair under the handle. i used to tell my missus we were going out and while she was in the shower i used to get off on the lash on my own by the time i got back i didnt care what she said, then she started showering first
                        And they say romance is dead....
                        On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by luke carpstalker View Post
                          Dave,

                          I read your problem with interest, and its not uncommon. It's certainly an issue at this time of year, I get many letters like yours once the sun has come out!


                          The problem is Dave, when she got home from work all full of the joys of spring, you were faffing about with your fishing gear.

                          In this kind of weather, women are generally more sexually active. This is evolutionary development, back in the olden days, hot weather would increase the likelihood of men to drink ' mead' and 'grog' , and this in turn would increase a woman's chances of being mated with. When your missus came home from work today she was met with the wrong kind of tackle.

                          Next times there's a sunny day, put in a leopard skin thong, cover yourself in olive oil, and pass out in the back garden after 12 cans of Stella.

                          All the best,

                          LC
                          yer barking mate but u dont half make me laugh

                          Comment

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